there’s nothing more satisfying than being an asshole in mario kart
the hounds of baskerville → favourite screencaps.
so fucking wounded.
The only person
that can pick you up,
push back your shoulders,
wipe the tears,
mend the broken bones
and get you out of your slump
Now go and live,
there is so much to be
this is like porn. omg
its better than porn.
I can’t explain the feels this gives me
wait a minute this isn’t my homework
this is tumblr
how did this happen
- Moriarty: NUMEROUS DEATH THREATS WHICH ALTERNATE BETWEEN THE FINE LINE OF CREEPY CUTE AND FUCKING SHIT-HE'S-BATSHIT-INSANE SCARY
- John: Sweating it out in this vest
- Moriarty & Sherlock: FOE YAY
- Cliffhanger: IS FRUSTRATING
- ~insert a year and a half or so~
- Everyone: WE ARE STILL INTENSE AND PERHAPS WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE AREN'T YOU JUST DYING TO FIND OUT WHAT THE CONCLUSION TO THIS IS
- ~cue the beegees~
- Moriarty: oh my god mum. sorry, she gets mad if I stay out late
- Sherlock: oh my god tell me about it, my brother
- Moriarty: SHOUTING soft death threats. oop silly me, I got the date wrong. I'm not dying til next year, pfffft you know you get these things mixed up
- Sherlock: OH I SEE SO THIS LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION ISN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU WELL THEN.
- Moriarty: bbl k
- Irene: SEX.
- ~TITLE SEQUENCEEE.~
- John: Wow suddenly business is booming
- Sherlock: I am healthier and I eat now
- Citizens: Please solve our mysteries oh great detective
- Internet: John your blog is damn fine
- John: TUMBLR FAMOUS
- Sherlock: ugh hats quick
- Press: OOH HATS
- Sherlock: fuck everything fucking press and fucking fans and fucking HAT - JOHN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU NAMING OUR CHILDREN I MEAN CASES, CASES IS WHAT I MEANT
- John: Shut up bitch I like created you
- ~CASE TIME~
- Lestrade: ok he's a dick but don't punch him
- Sherlock: I am too smart to leave the house and enter the fog of stupidity which is the outside world so John skype me when you get there
- John: you're in a sheet
- Sherlock: I know.
- John & Sherlock: HUMOROUS DOMESTIC BANTER
- Mycroft: fetch me the problem sticks
- John: HELICOPTER
- Sherlock: no fuk you I don't care about clothes
- ~IN BUCKINGHAM PALACE~
- Sherlock: what pants I have no need of pants
- John: so just to clarify you're completely naked beneath that sheet
- Sherlock: utterly
- Sherlock & John: trolololfanstrolololol
- Mycroft: put your pants on you little shit
- Sherlock: NO U
- Mycroft: So just to confirm that he is completely naked under the sheet -
- Sherlock: OH FINE
- Mycroft: irene adler info dump sex sex photos
- Sherlock: boring
- Mycroft: OH MY GOD FUCK YOU - sherlock just take the case
- Sherlock: ok gurl laterz also thanks for the ashtray
- Sherlock & John: trolololololol
- Irene: Sherlock's coming*
- Sherlock: Let's go visit Irene
- Irene: What shall I wear?
- Sherlock: OH GOD WHAT DO I WEAR
- Irene: ok just what I'm most comfortable in
- Sherlock: I'll just stick with my normal
- Irene: Makeup time for colour, suggestively gay companion
- Sherlock: Punch me in the face for some colour, please John
- ONE BEAT UP VICAR LATER
- Irene: naked
- Sherlock: what the fuck are those
- John: I know what they are
- Sherlock: I just want the phone
- Irene: I just want to talk cases
- Americans: We just want to shoot everything AMERICA AMERICA
- John: AMERICANS
- Americans: open the safe
- Sherlock: LOL NO
- Americans: or we will shoot your boyfriend
- Sherlock: CODE
- GUNS AND PUNCHING AND BADASSERY IN GENERAL
- Irene: phone
- Sherlock: mine
- Irene: drugs
- Sherlock: well fuck.
- ~DRUG TRIP~
- Irene: hiker boomerang boom bang dead
- Sherlock: drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrug
- Irene: also thanks for the coat c u soon bb
- Mrs Hudson: How dare you send your baby brother in against CIA killers
- Mycroft: oh shut up -
- John & Sherlock: ANGRY BEAR CUB IMPRESSIONS
- John: I love jan and rosalia I mean don't you like this jumper
- Sherlock: violinnnn
- Molly: i put the cuddly in cadaver
- Sherlock: there is no cuddly in cadaver also your breasts and mouth are small
- Molly: please stop crushing my soul
- Sherlock: touching signs of regret and guilt and an apologetic kiss
- Molly: ~oh jesus fuck god he kissed me oh god fuck what was that noise that was a moan oh god did i moan please tell me i didn't moan fuck oh god did i? no wait no. shit what if they think it's me, they'll think i'm some creepy fangirl who stalks him and makes shrines out of his used chewy and sings love ballads to a locket photo of him oh god they'll think i'm a fangirl~ I'M NOT A FANGIRL!!
- Sherlock: no that was me.
- Everyone: wait what.
- Phone: basically irene's dead
- Sherlock: well fuck.
- Irene: yup completely dead on a slab
- Mycroft: fag?
- Sherlock: for the last time, john and I are not - oh, yeah, sure. mycroft? are we creepy as fuck creepers with no friends and no ability to connect to anyone else?
- Mycroft: would you rather be normal?
- Sherlock: this is a shitty cigarette.
- ~back at 221B~
- John's girlfriend: You're great I just wish you weren't gay
- John: I'll walk your dog
- John's ex: I don't have one u dick
- Sherlock: if you messed up my socks there will be dire consequences
- ~NEW YEARS~
- John: mycroft stop playing MIB with me
- Irene: jkes just me
- John: what the actual fuck fucking tell him you're alive because he's almost heartbroken and I don't know what to do you bitch
- Irene: Jealous?
- John: I AM NOT GAY
- Irene: yeah but I am and we're both in love with him. Pretty fucked aren't we.
- Sherlock: fuck you sideways Irene
- Mrs Hudson: halp
- Americans: GUNS PHONE NOW DID WE MENTION THE GUNS
- Sherlock: My name is Sherlock Holmes. You hurt my landlady. Prepare to die.
- Lestrade: what the fuck happened
- Sherlock: idk.
- Mrs Hudson: I saved the phone though because old bitches get shit done
- Irene: hey boys decipher me some code
- Sherlock: PLANE BOND AIR 007
- John: Told you Bond night would come in handy some day
- Irene: Have the sex with me.
- John: COCKBLOCK.
- Irene: Have the sex with me
- Sherlock: Where's John, he should be cockblocking
- Man: I can do that for you
- Sherlock: but they are dead
- Mycroft: wow really.
- Sherlock: but. but
- Mycroft: SHERLOCK YOU FUCKED UP ALL THE THINGS THAT A PERSON COULD POSSIBLY FUCK UP.
- Irene: give me all the things.
- Mycroft: well fuck.
- Irene: lol in league with moriarty the whole time also he has mean nicknames for both of you lololol
- Sherlock: no.
- Irene: what
- Sherlock: You. are. sherlocked.
- Irene: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU
- Sherlock: also fuck you, those were mean nicknames.
- ~Some months later~
- Mycroft: So John we'll meet at cafe's now since you asked so nicely
- John: but you weren't there when I said that -
- Mycroft: I'm always there.
- John: ahaha you're creepy, so what can I do you for
- Mycroft: Irene is dead but let's tell sherlock she isn't so he doesn't start composing sad music again
- John: yup sounds good.
- John: awkwardly attempting to lie
- Sherlock: cool story bro but let me keep the phone.
- Irene: Goodbye Mr Holmes.
- Sherlock: i save you
- Sherlock: lol I got em so good.
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everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19
I Wish I Could Turn Into Bowser So I Could Kill My Bus Driver